62 Stouts Get Ranked

This is what I brought to my parents’ house a few winters back. Whatever gets you through the holidays…

I know, it says “Top 40 Stouts”,  but below is a list of 62 stouts. The days are getting shorter and the leaves are gathering on the ground. Autumn has fallen quickly and much like a burning trashcan is to a hobo, stouts are here to keep us warm.

The stout is one of the most unique ales you will encounter. Smooth, mild, creamy yet unapologetic. It’s timeless and can be enjoyed at a wide range within its lifespan. Unlike India Pale Ales – stouts can be aged over time and do not have to be consumed close to its brewing date. I recommend aging Imperials or any stout that is over 7% ABV as it will mellow with time and turn the booziness into a smoother more mellow finish. One stout that I only drink aged is Great Lakes Brewing Company’s Blackout Stout. The reason being is that I find it too boozy with some after-burn when it’s freshly bottled. Age it for a year or two and the spices and alcohol settle just right, leaving the stout much more palatable.

Hop flavors fade as an ale ages hence why India Pale Ales are preferred to be consumed as close to their brew date as possible. Also, if you are raging alcoholic – this justifies your reason to drink them as fast as possible. Just tell your soon to be ex-wife “I have to drink them now or else they’ll go bad!” as she makes her way for the door.

Stouts can be broken down into several categories. Below I have listed them in the most common types (and the order I prefer most to least). There are many other subcategories and blends of stouts such as Evil Twin’s Ying & Yang which is a stout and India Pale Ale mixed into one (think of a “black and tan”).

Coffee (Espresso) – Wether you’re a coffee fan or not, stouts (and porters) share a lot of flavor characteristics similar to coffee. Both darkly brewed and roasted, wether it be the hops for a stout or beans for coffee – there is a common thread between the two beverages that make their pairing a match made in heaven.

Chocolate – Is there a more decadent, gluttonous pairing than booze and chocolate? Even people that aren’t big beer drinkers can usually find a chocolate stout tolerable. Many chocolate stouts typically contain cocoa nibs to give it that authentic chocolate flavor.

Fresh cocoa nibs are are bits of fermented, dried, roasted and crushed cacao bean that has a nut like consistency.

Milk (Sweet) – Milk stouts play off of the cream-like smoothness that these ales offer us. Some of these stouts may pour a pitch black, with a dense tan and foamy head. The nose is creamy and reminiscent of a dessert with many flavors mixed in including caramel, chocolatevanilla, and cream. The mouthfeel is silky smooth accented by hints of oats and barley in the mix. It’s like drinking straight from the utter of an alcoholic cow.

Regular –  Your typical stout consists of the basics: roasted malt or roasted barley, hops, water and yeast. It is a base stout that simply lacks the additional ingredients and flavorings of the other stouts listed.

Oatmeal – To be honest, oatmeal stouts are so mild and muted I forget that it’s even an oatmeal stout unless I look at the label. Very similar to regular stouts.

Smoked – Now this is where you might just want to split a stout between several people. Most of the smoked stouts I have encountered tend to overdo it with the smoke flavor (Lava’s Smoked Imperial Stout being a perfect example).  Though it goes great with a cheese tray or smoked meats, if you drink too much of this kind of stout, prepare to feel like you ingested a bag of charcoal briquettes the next morning.

Imperial – Imperial stouts are the most robust and strongest you will find – both in ABV and in flavor. Imperial stouts are ideal for aging as they will lose some of the “bite” they give off when freshly brewed. Barleywines are also ideal for aging for the same reasons. Some of these consist of barrel aged stouts which add to the robust flavor wehter it be an added wood flavor or bourbon barrel.

Russian – Whenever I hear something is Russian – I take a step back.  It’s usually ungodly strong or violent so watch out whenever you’re dealing with anything Russian – wether its stouts or the KGB themselves. Think of every Russian character you’ve seen on TV – they drink vodka likes it’s water and usually have a scar over one eye and they wear it proudly with a smile that says “You should see the other guy.”

Unlike certain beers, stouts can be aged and to mellow out and actually taste better over time where as most IPAs will turn into sludge. When I’m tired I like stouts cause I can throw some coffee and expresso in them and gets me going for the night and it’s healthier than Red Bull… I think.

When I was younger, drinking alchohol meant having fun and getting wild, but as I’ve entered my 30s I realize drinking alchohol is for dulling feelings and reducing irritability. Still important, just in a different way.

Drinking Tip: A great fall pre-game drink is to take any coffee or espresso stout and drop a Starbucks Espresso Double Shot into it. I concocted this experiment in my late 20’s when forcing myself to go out after work but, feeling too tired and motivated to “get in gear” so to speak. Also, having a drink by yourself before meeting a date at a bar is not a red flag, it is I what I like to call “home field advantage”.

Take any coffee stout and drop a Starbucks Espresso into and let the night take you on a journey the likes of which you’ve never experienced.

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let us chronicle the 63 stouts I personally drank and rated over a selected span of time…

62. Hitachino Sweet Stout – 7.1/10 – Not very good, tasted like sour milk, worse stout so far. It leaves a milk like sweet dryness in your mouth after you drink it, like butter milk that went sour. It has a similar vanilla frappachino aftertaste, but not sweet at all.

61. Troegs Java Head Stout – 7.3/10 – It has a strong porter cola like taste you get immediately.gets in your sinus. Has a strong fizzy porter like taste that stays on your palate.

60. Heavy Seas Peg Leg Imperial Stout – 8.1/10 – I had this stout on tap and it was pretty disappointing so it’s probably even worse out of the bottle.

59. Guinness Extra Stout – 7.7/10 – There is nothing wrong with Guinness, many people love it as it has been a common brand before the microbrew craze hit and re-evaluated how we all look at beer. Guinness is like if we brought Mickey Mantle back to life and had him play against professional players of 2017. He’d probably get crushed, but “hey” he was great in his time so let’s not take that away from him. This is what I call a “casual” stout meaning you could drink several where as all the others are specialty stouts are stronger, but you only drink one or two. It has a wheaty almost Budweiser lager type smell, pours dark, with a white head. My rating was dead on with beer advocate. This is basically like drinking watered down milk that has no sweetness or bitterness, just like creamy water. Good for a novice drinker, but I wouldn’t even say a good entry level stout cause no other stouts lack flavor like Guinness. Even Boddingtons & Young’s Double Chocolate Stout seem strong compared to this.

58. Sierra Nevada Chocolate Stout – 8.1/10 –  I was not that impressed with this stout. It has the consistency of a porter: pours a deep black while the mouthfeel is fizzy, carbonated and not smooth like a stout. Has a somewhat burnt coffee infused, dirt like taste to it. For me, I feel the main difference between a stout and a porter is that a porter has more carbonation, fizz and bite to it where as stouts are smooth and creamy almost like a cola that has gone flat.

57. Southern Tier 2x Stout – 8.2/10 – A double milk stout, decently smooth with a bit of a creamy finish – hence the name. It is not sour like that Hitachino Sweet Stout at #64. Not as good as Bell’s Kalamazoo (#56) but better than Troeg’s Java Head (#63). I would not drink this stout again with so many better stouts available. Southern Tier typically is a heavy player in the stout field, but this one is mediocre at best.

Southern Tier offers its “2x” version of many beers. Similar to Rogues “Double” line – it offers a more potent version of its standard line of beers.

56. Victory Storm King stout – 8.2/10 – Pours out a large foamy, white head. The Fall 2015 batch seemed to have much more carbonation than the Great Lakes Brewing Company Blackout Stout I paired it against and is also much more bitter than Blackout, but nowhere near as boozy.

55. Bell’s Special Double Cream Stout – 8.3/10 –  Not very creamy at all. Has a slight sweetness to it that gives it that milk stout feel. It also has a very unique salty, metallic taste to it. Somewhat of a “metallic cola” front taste to it. Also starts off sweet in the beginning taste. This was very close with Java Head, but just beats it by a smidge. It also has the exact same constancy & head pour of Java Head.

54.  Bells Kalamazoo stout with anise – 8.3/10 – Better than Java Head but not by much. Had a nice smoothness to it. There are better stouts from Bells so I would skip this one.

53. Evil Twin Yin & Yang  – 8.3/10 – Very interesting as this stout comes off very unique compared to the others. I think I prefer my IPAs and stouts separate. It’s like a stout with a bitter bite finish. Almost like a Nosferatu. Evil Twin describes it as “Not just any Black and Tan but the one where we flawlessly mixed a flippant good Imperial IPA with a profoundly evil Imperial Stout and sustained sweet beer balance.”

52. Founders Double Chocolate Stout  8.3/10 – Bitter with a burnt, flat taste. Would not drink again. If you’re looking for a Founder’s Stout – I recommend their Breakfast Stout.

51. Rogue Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout 8.4/10 – Pretty generic as I cannot detect the oatmeal which is my problem with all oatmeal stouts – they don’t taste that unique from regular stouts. Pours a dark black, almost zero visibility when held up to the light with a chocolate colored head.

Rogue Shakespeare Stout
Rogue Shakespeare Stout
Hoppin Frog Cafe Boris

50. Hoppin Frog Cafe Boris The Crusher – 8.3/10 – Smelled super boozy, very robust and a little too harsh & flavorful.  It did end up being boozy, but not over the top. Completely black with the flashlight test. A much stronger coffee/boozier stout than Emelisse, but had much more flavor than the Emelisse. Still a good stout but honestly – I would not buy again. Hoppin Frog was really hyped up around 2012.

49. Founders Breakfast Stout – 8.5/10 – This is a double chocolate oatmeal coffee stout. It contains everything as the name implies. This stout had a little too much flavor going on as is the same issue with Rogue’s Double Chocolate Stout – it takes away from the smoothness, has a bit of harsh burnt aftertaste to it as well.

48. Left hand Wake Up Dead Stout – 8.5/10 – Drank it cold and had a really boozy after burn aftertaste which ruined it, still has a boozy front taste even when warm. Would not buy again. The main things I look for in a stout is flavor, balance and little to no booziness.

47. Lagunitas Cappuccino Stout – 8.6/10 – Pretty much what you’d expect: very strong, full bodied, but a little too robust. You do get hints of cappuchino in the aroma and flavor as well as light notes of vanilla.

46. Great Divide Brewing Company Yeti Imperial Stout –  8.6/10 – A pretty regular stout: not too boozy, just in the middle. I would drink again, but do not have the urge to buy again. Someone would have to give it me – that’s where I stand on this beer.

45. Ölvisholt Brugghus Lava Imperial Smoked Stout – 8.6/10 – Smells of smoked meats, the smokiness smell is strong but the taste is not overpowering and is mostly in the front taste. It even tastes like smoked meats, small amount of chocolate, smooth.  I honestly think smoked stouts are sipping beers which I don’t understand cause this came in 22 bomber. Although robust it was still smooth and slightly creamy. This is a quality stout, but since I am not a huge fan of smoked beers, I must lower the score as I probably wouldn’t not buy this again as I also cannot justify the price tag of $16. A stout this robust should not be sold in 22 bomber, I’d need 3 people to drink this. The brewer describes it as The active volcano Hekla is visible from the brewhouse door and occasionally, eruptions are visible from the Ölvisholt farm. The illustration resembles the view from the brewhouse door when an eruption occurs. Full-bodied, pitch black beer with a dense brown head. Richly flavored with notes of dark chocolate, roasted malt and smoke.

44. Great Lakes Blackout Stout  – 8.6/10 – I drank this one blindfolded so my view of beers by brand wouldn’t influence my opinion. It’s boozy and has a  slight coffee taste – I’m thinking  it’s a Great Lakes stout. Not a top five stout. Aftertaste gets boozier the more you drink it. Leaves a bit of a barrel aged taste on your tongue after slowly sipping. I ended up aging a few of these and drank them one and two years apart – what a difference. I definitely recommend aging this stout as it balances out more evenly with time

43. Stone Milk Stout – 8.6/10 – Pretty decent for a milk stout. Nothing memorable. Low ABV of 5% keeps it palatable. A bittersweet, creamy, coffee-laced stout. From imperial stouts to IPAs, we’ve discovered the tantalizingly roasty lift that comes from adding coffee beans to just about any kind of beer. This English-style milk stout, originally a limited-edition offering at Stone Brewing World Bistro & Gardens – Liberty Station, proved the perfect foil for beans from San Diego-based Ryan Bros Coffee. The bitterness of the coffee is balanced out brilliantly by the milk sugar we used to add a touch of sweetness and creaminess to the stout’s smooth, easy-drinking texture. Cheers to the coalescence of two highly artisanal (and delectable) mediums.

42. Bells Java Stout – 8.6/10 – The most coffee-ish tasting of the three stouts I taste tested in one sitting,  but not the best. Hitachino Espresso Stout was the best coffee stout followed by this then Stone. This tastes like super strong burned black coffee where as the others tastes like a mocha coffee . The Hitachino Espresso Stout was lighter & sweeter than this. Bells Java Stout pours a deep black with a two fingers worth of a light brown head.

Bell’s Java Stout

41. Bellhaven Black Scottish Stout – 8.6/10 – Super smooth and creamy just like Guinness. No boozy aftertaste which is awesome for a stout.

Bellhaven’s Black Stout is a mild Scottish Stout. It’s a light, middle of the road Stout for people who think Guinness is a real Stout and those that listen to The Bay City Rollers.
I love Great Lakes Brewing Company and I love Ohio City, but this stout is a little bit too mild for my taste. It would be a great introduction to someone who is new to stouts and not looking for something over bearing with flavor.

40. Great Lakes Ohio City Stout – 8.7/10 –  You can smell the oatmeal and taste it with this stout. Many oatmeal stouts suffer the same problem – they just taste like regular stouts. To be honest, this tasted like a generic flat Great Lakes ale to me. Definitely has that Great Lakes Brewing house malt taste to it. Not heavy at all. Almost tastes like a dark roasted lager without the wheat-like taste. I can tell it doesn’t have a high ABV because it tastes so light unlike Great Lakes Blackout Stout. I was one of the few people who didn’t think Blackout Stout was great – too boozy and had a alcohol separation from the rest of the stout so I will rank Ohio city stout a TAD over Blackout Stout. This is a pretty decent LIGHT, smooth, sessional stout. Not too dark – it’s roasted, but more muted than a porter. This would be a good stout to drink if you haven’t drank in awhile & your tolerance is low.

39. Southern Tier Creme Brulle Stout  – 8.7/10 – Drank with Southern Tier Choklat Stout. They were neck and neck but ultimately I preferred the taste of the Southern Tier Choklat as it wasn’t as sweet as Creme Brulle. Choklat was also smoother and more enjoyable to drink.

38. Southern Tier Choklat Stout   – 8.7/10 Not as good as I originally recalled. Has kind of a marshmallow taste to it. Slightly better than the Creme Brulee stout. Smooth, chocolatey but had that weird gross bubble gum – vanilla extract aftertaste to it, drank it after a Warlock though that was spicy.

Southern Tier’s Choklat narrowly beats out Creme Brulee. You can actually mix them together for a chocolate cream stout. Southern Tier also recommends mixing Creme Brule with Pumking for a pumpkin pie like ale.

38. Bells Double Cream Stout – 8.7/10 – Not very creamy at all. Has a slight sweetness. Has a salty metallic taste to it. Some what of a metallic cola front taste to it. Somewhat of a sweet beginning taste. Neck & neck with Java but just beats it by a smudge. Exact same constancy & head pour.

37. Southern tier salted caramel imperial stout – 88/100 skells like a cupcake. Taste like maple caramel somewhat sweet. Not boozy for a 10%

37. Hoppin’ Frog Doris The Destroyer – 8.8/10 – Pours like tar. No head, thick as hell, a little oily on top. Intriguing. Smell is anise and burnt coffee. Taste is a better balance of the same — more roast, some chocolate, a little smoky. Very bitter. Mouthfeel is thick and a little grainy. Overall, very good beer.

Hoppin Frog D.O.R.I.S. The Destroyer

36. Evil Twin Imperial Biscotti Break – 8.8/10 – Had a fizzy, porter-like substance to it and a raisin prune after taste to it.

35. Balast Point Commodore Stout – 8.8/10 –  Very light, not a heavy or boozy stout. Had a watery dirt like taste like old coffee. A stout you drink if you hadn’t drank in a long time cause it’s weak. Not horrible but would only drink again if I hadn’t boozed & there was nothing else.

34. Bell’s Abracadabra Coffee Stout – 8.8/10 It’s hard to make a bad coffee stout in my opinion. This stout is pretty well balanace, right amount of coffee, smooth, no burn or booziness, the problem is it tastes like many other coffee stouts would need something unique about it to make it stand out.

34. Clown Shoes Chocolate Sombrero – 8.8/10 – Chocolate tasting with a little bit of a twist on it must be the peppers that give it a unique taste. NO BOOZY aftertaste which is awesome for a 10% stout. light metallic aftertaste

Clown Shoes Chocolate Sombrero offers a unique blend for a stout by combining the sweetness of chocolate and the spice of jalapeños.

33. 3 Floyds Backmasking Stout -8.9/10 – Drinking it now. It’s good. It’s an oatmeal stout but has a porter coffee like taste to it. Bit of a metallic taste that I don’t care for.

32. Rogue Imperial Stout 2013 XS – 8.9/10 – Has a rogue hop smell to it, 109 ibu so I expect it to be robust, hoppy. Pours a huge light brown head. Super smooth not as smooth as black chocolate but has a very burned coffee somewhat bitter aftertaste. Leaves a plaquey taste on your palate long after. Strong like an imperial but a little too bitter at the end. If you like bitter, somewhat hoppy after tasting SMOOTH stouts/ales you would like this. Reminds more of a bitter Rogue IPA, but with a smooth stout start.

31. Thirsty Dog Imperial Bourbon Stout – 8.9/10 – Better than blackout . Imperial creamy bourbon taste but not too boubony like Kentucky.. Has. A nice sweet creaminess too it while not too bourbony.

30. Sierra Nevada Narwhal Stout – 8.9/10 dark chocolate, somewhat smooth little abrupt on the palate slight boozy aftertaste but hides it well for 10.3 % ABV beer. Would drink again.

29. Youngs Double Chocolate Stout

28. Boddingtons Stout

27. Stone Xocervesa 8.8/10 not heavy like Dino Smore’s much thinner and crisper. Strong pepper notes in both taste and smell. Lots of cinnamon notes as well I still prefer stones other stouts to this but I would not buy this again. It’s like a Christmas ale made into a stout with added peppers.

26. Lion stout – 8.7/10- slight boozy sweet aroma. Smooth almost a slight chocolate but it’s not chocolate. Slight boozy aftertaste that’s covered up with a burnt coffee taste. Smooth & good. Surprised cause Howard gave it to me – thought it be a cheap knock off stout. On the edge of would drink again.

25. Great Divide Yeti Imperial Stout – 8.8/10 –  Full bodied smooth, no booze, no chocolate, good stout, slightly filling.

24. Oskar Blues Ten Fiddy – 8.9/10 – Delicious!

23. Emelisse Dutch Ale Espresso Stout – 8.9/10 – Very smooth, but not as smooth as the Brooklyn Blacks Double Chocolate Stout. Not as chocolatey as Sam Smiths Organic Chocolate Stout or as good. No booziness like Hoppin Frog’s Cafe Boris. This had a much smoother, less boozy, flavorful finish to it. Damn good, very smooth not boozy at all.

22. Pipeworks Grand Guignol: Act One Imperial Stout – 9.0/10 – This stout really shocked me. I hadn’t been drinking much at all lately so I expected a 11% stout to be too much, but I’ll de damned: no booze or afterburn. I detect light notes of cinnamon – maybe it’s the oatmeal. Has a decent amount of carbonation for a stout. Bought it in September didn’t drink til February so it did give it time to settle and mellow.

21. 3 Floyds Black Flame Stout– 9.0/10 – Syrupy, but not super boozy pretty good for an imperial. Tastes like a chocolate covered orange. Had much higher hopes for this prior to drinking, but the orange flavor just made it feel off and coupled with the fact that it was 12% ABV also gave it some burn. It was black in color with a dark brown hue on the sides and a one finger mocha head that had decent retention and left some nice small spotty lacing. Orange citrus fruitiness and milk chocolate with hints of roasty coffee and some kind of spiciness. You’d think that orange and chocolate flavors go well together, and it started off ok enough. But after a while, it just felt a bit too sweet and hard to finish. The orange was overpowering compared to the chocolate and I think it would have been better if it was the other way around. Just didn’t quite work for me.

20. Bells Expedition Stout – 9.2/10 – Impressive for a 10% ABV Russian imperial that is so smooth with no booze or afterburn. This would be a perfect stout to age cause of the high alcohol content.

19. New Holland Brewing Company Poet Stout – 8.9/10 – Flavorful, somewhat chocolate taste even though it’s an oatmeal stout. Not bitter or burnt tasting like Founder’s Double Chocolate Breakfast Stout, not boozy like Great Lakes Blackout Stout. Would buy again. Not creamy like Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout either. Better than Rogue’s Shakespeare Oatmeal Stout. The appearance was a dark brown color with a slim glazing of off-white foamy head. Barely any lacing but what there is slides down. The smell had a rich sweet chocolate to roasty coffee, decadent. The taste was rich and subtly sweet smooth chocolate. Light vanilla adds to balance and leaves a slight sticky sweet aftertaste leading into the finish. On the palate, this one sat about a medium on the body with a fairly decent sessionability to sipping quality about it. It’s got a good thickness running in and out along my tongue. Overall, I say this was a pretty good oatmeal stout ranging on the sweet side.

18. 8 Wired Brewing Company Istout – 9.0/10 – Definitely tastes like a thicker chocolate stout. Has a boozy aroma but not a boozy taste. The oatmeal is hard to detect.

17. Ballast Point Sea Monster Imperial Stout 9.0/10 – Perfect balance of flavor and booze especially for an imperial. The smell had a sweet cocoa to sticky licorice, light roast of coffee and an ample amount of anise settling nicely underneath my nose. The taste was mainly sweet and roasty. A light vanilla did help to balance out. An even-ed out delicate delivery of balanced vanilla licorice boozy aftertaste lead to a semi – sweet and wet finish. On the palate, this one sat about a medium on the body with a fairly decent sipping quality about it.

 

17.  Brew kettle Coconut Chocolate Stout – 9.0/10 – Thought it smelled like peanut butter but it was the coconut mixed with the chocolates I don’t even like coconut but the chocolate masks it’s so well that it goes down smooth.

16. Three Floyds Wigsplitter – 9.2/10 –  Coffee flavored. Perfectly balanced.

A coffee stout from Three Floyds

15. Left Hand Milk Stout – 9.0/10 – Pours pitch black with brown when held to light, clean, and with a small tan slightly creamy looking head that doesn’t leave much behind. Minimal lace. Bitter chocolate, burnt toast, and a little bit of iron/metallic aroma. Again with bitter chocolate, maybe some milk chocolate due to a hint if sweetness, but mostly roasted grain/toasted bread. Less iron presence than anticipated.

14. Southern Teir Warlock Imperial Stout – 9.1/10 – My favorite pumpkin anything and I am really not a pumpkin beer fan. This imperial stout has an almost oatmeal like taste with pumpkins, has a spicy, tingly taste that sizzles on your tongue unlike any other stouts that are smooth and muted.

13. Bells Black Note Stout – 9.2/10 – Deliciously balanced, but a little bit more boozy than I anticipated. This stout was hyped up a lot before I finally got to drink it. Still great though. Extremely hard to get so I was lucky just to try it. I felt it was a little boozy for a 10% ABV stout.

12. Off Color Brewing Company Dino S’mores – 9.2/10 – smooth coffee-ish with marshmallow aftertaste, more full bodied than fade to black. This stout is simply amazing, the mix of chocolate and marshmellow is delicious. Also works great when aged, it looses a bit of the booziness.

11. Maumee Bay Total Eclipse Breakfast Stout – 9.2/00 – super smooth, 9.1 delicious just

10. 3 Floyds Moloch Milk Stout – 9.3/10 – 8.0% ABV, 30 IBUs – This Milk Stout is brewed with a portion of golden naked oats and lactose milk sugar to give it a rounded and full-bodied mouth feel. With a deep roasted and slightly sweet maltiness. August release.

9. Rogue Double Chocolate Stout – 9.3/10 – Rated 94 on beer advocate, but I think I prefer the regular Rogue Chocolate Stout as it was smoother and not as harsh. Yes, the double has more chocolate taste, but it seemed a little more boozy and harsh than the smoother regular chocolate stout.

First there was Rogues Chocolate Stout then Double Chocolate Stout. I heard the Triple Chocolate Stout is just an IV so you can mainline Chocolate Stout straight into your blood.

8. Rogue Chocolate Stout – 9.4/10 – Rogue has a pretty solid Chocolate Stout. Smoother than the double chocolate stout.

7. Left Hand Fade To Black – 9.4/10 – my fave out of the 4. Smooth, not as smooth as emelise but absolutely no booziness. A good non chocolate oatmeal stout.

6. Brooklyn Black Chocolate Stout – 9.4/10 – I’d rate it the best stout of all but it has a boozy aftertaste. I’d rather they lower the ABV % from 10% to 7% and give it a sweeter, less boozy aftertaste. Other than that – damn near perfect, softest cream like stout I’ve had. It does have a strange bubble gum taste to it.

Brooklyn Lager Company Black Chocolate Stout is one of the few stouts that I can distinctly remember the first time I tasted it. I thought it was great but, had a strange “bubbleguml” like taste to it. You decide.

5. Deschutes Obsidian Stout – 9.4/10 – Pours a dark brown almost black smells strongly of chocolate even though there is no chocolate in it. Has a hoppy almost burned hop after taste. Damn smooth and taste good but the after taste is a little metallic a little tiny. Had it on time and I had my mind blown but it might have been the tap. It really is smooth as silk though. You just have to let it warm up a tad. Much smoother than Great Lakes Ohio city stout and this is 6.5% ABV. It is labeled as having notes of espresso and chocolate. No wonder why I liked it. Does have a bit of that burned coffee aftertaste which makes you feel like you’re headed for acid reflux city. Top 5 stout. Creamy, smooth, cocoa like taste, not a hint of booziness or burn.

4. Stone Xocovesa Milk Stout – 9.5/10 – Just an amazing mix of milk and peppers that Stone pulls off perfectly. This beer pours a flat black with a small head. The aroma is intense, with coffee, cinnamon, nutmeg, prune, raisin, vanilla and marshmallow, The flavor is also rich and full, starting with dark chocolate and coffee, and then nutmeg, cinnamon, peppers, char, and a decent amount of heat on the finish. The mouthfeel is fairly thick, with soft, small bubble carbonation. Overall a good Mexican spiced stout – not up to the standards of Bomb! maybe, but tasty, and well priced.

3. Three Floyds Dark Lord Stout – 9.6/10 –  This stout is only for sale one day of the year and it’s at Three Floyd’s Dark Lord Day in Muenster, IN. One ticket cost about $200 and up and it is the only way you can get this stout. Dark Lord Day typically takes place in April, but tickets sell out quickly. You can see why Three Floyds keeps this stout under wraps – it builds the demand.

2. Hitachino Espresso Stout 9.7/10 – My second favorite stout of all time. Absolutely delicious. Deep chocolate brown with high carbonation and a mocha head. Almost has the appearance of actual coffee rather than stout. Even has visible pieces of espresso beans floating around inside. Primarily espresso and dark chocolate, as well as vanilla, caramel, dark fruit, yeast, molasses, nutmeg, and cinnamon. Flavor is intense and basically the same as smell but with even more emphasis on the espresso. The mouthfeel is nearly identical to a cup of espresso. it has a nice amount of dry bitterness to balance out its sweet notes.
Probably the best espresso stout I’ve had. It is nearly identical to real espresso in every aspect, even having similar nuances to it’s flavor. This would be an excellent beer to have with breakfast so I will have to hunt down another bottle.

1. Evil Twin Even More Jesus – 9.8/10 – Damn good. Start to finish: smooth, balanced, chocolate coffee aftertaste but really impressive as it has no booziness. Close to black, half inch dark mocha colored head, but with little Belgian lacing. The head is so brown, it almost looks like a chocolate malted. Dark roasted malt, almost akin to what would find in a rauchbier, black coffee, molasses to dark rum, anise, orange peel.
Again, dark roasted malt, black coffee, balanced with pepperiness and bitterness from hops that is present up front and throughout swallow. A pleasant, tingling aftertaste. Full bodied with solid effervescence.
I drank this stout in succession with about five other stouts and just when I felt like they were all starting to taste the same – this one blew me away.

The reigning champion – Evil Twin Brewing Even More Jesus American Double/Imperial Stout

Full Time Fool

Full Time Fool has been with Moron Reviews since its inception in 2015.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *