(Muenster, IN) — Last Thanksgiving, outrage struck a small Midwestern-town over a family Thanksgiving dinner. Billy Crandel got up from his seat at the Crandel dinner table and took a knee while Mrs. Crandel began reciting “Grace”.
“I don’t know what exactly he’s trying to say here,” said an irate Mrs. Crandel. “But after five hours of cooking – I am not in the mood for any of his political bullshit.”
Many other family members shared in the confusion. “Is he protesting “Grace” or Thanksgiving in general?” inquired a perplexed Uncle Louie who was not in the mood for any political statements after a four-hour drive from Michigan City. “I’ve had it with these kids and their long hair and their rock music and their politics!” shouted Uncle Louie while shaking his fist in the air.
Other family members agreed with Billy’s statement. “I don’t like saying grace either,” said his younger nephew, Stewie. “I didn’t think I had a choice! I’m taking a knee next time too!” Billy’s statement has seemed to cause turmoil within the Crandel household.
“See what he’s done?! Now he’s influencing my son! Who knows where this will stop?!” said Mrs. Skinner – Billy’s Aunt. “I’m not really protesting anything, but this is the fourth year in a row the birds been over cooked and goddamnit, I’m taking a knee too!” said Mr. Crandel.
“See?! It’s spreading!” yelled Mrs. Crandel. No word on whether the Crandels watched any football games on Thanksgiving or if they will host for next year. Billy Crandell has said he will have no trouble finding another family to have Thanksgiving dinner with next year while his family feels differently.